Non-traditional Students at Western Washington University

This article below was written about my experiences at Western Washington University, and was almost published in the school's magazine, the Klipsun. The editors wanted Ariana to include some statistics about non-traditional students at Western, from the Admissions department, but they could not provide much. Therefore, the article was not published.

Note* Some of the facts are not correct.

I hope you enjoy.

Editors Note about the issue: Klipsun Magazine


NON TRADITIONAL STUDENTS
ARIANA LOPEZ

Nicole Nelson and her parents pulled the heavily packed vehicle into the Birnam Wood Apartments. She gazed at the dark brown building that she would be calling home for the rest of the school year. Excitement was tingling throughout her body as she made her way to her apartment door, her parents following close behind her. She remembers the mixed emotion of that day. Once she was settled in, she walked her parents to their car. The goodbyes were bittersweet, however, she could see the pride in her parents eyes. She felt a sense of pride as well. After all, being here was what she had been working so hard to accomplish for the last 10 years.

Attending college is a new experience with many life-altering decisions to be made. For some students this experience did not come right after high school but much later in life. After a decade of living in the “real world” Nelson has made her way back to college. She searched for more individuals like her to share her experiences with. From this search she found other students that like her have just returned to school after experiencing the working world.
Six weeks into her first quarter at Western, Nelson, 29, finds herself juggling school, work and the usual task of finding one’s place in a new community.

Nelson is a self-proclaimed non-traditional student. Time is what makes non-traditional students stand out from the rest, she says. Older student may be another more literal, but not necessarily accurate, way to refer to such students. It is not about the age, she says. It’s about the experiences that took place during that time outside of school.

Finding others with that shared time line is what drove Nelson to create a post on Viking Village. This post has received over 20 responses that have resulted in a group bowling night and several coffee get together. From bowling nights to coffee get-togethers, these non-traditional students find support in each other to help them adjust to their new school and community.
Briana Kinash, 25, is one of the youngest respondents to Nelson’s post. She is also a great example of the difference between an older student and a non-traditional student. Not much older than her peers, it’s not age the sets her experience at Western apart. After high school she took a year of community college and then decided to attend art school.

Eventually, she decided to go back to traditional school and relocated from Seabeck, Wash. to Bellingham and is now working on her neuroscience degree. She is looking forward to graduating in a year or so and being able to move back home with her boyfriend.

Every story is different, Nelson says. We all have taken different paths and have found ourselves in the same place at the moment.

Nicole

Nelson describes herself a very shy person. She smiles, but her expression of sincerity does not change. She admits her friends think she is outgoing because she always seems to find herself socially involved with something.
“What they don’t realize is how hard it is for me to get involved,” Nelson says. “ I just love doing new things, so I force myself to be more involved.”

When Nelson graduated from high school in 2001, she had plans to continue her education. At that time, Nelson had been in a relationship for some time. Once she graduated, he proposed. She was married at the age of 20. He was in the military and he didn’t think it was important for her to go back to school, she says.

They relocated to Alaska, where three and a half years later they divorced. She then relocated to California where she worked for the same company for a little over a decade. Nelson would attend school sporadically through out this time, but she always knew she wanted to go back full-time.

Even though Nelson enjoyed her job, after some time she became frustrated with her inability to move up the company ladder. “I needed to go back and get my BA,” she says. The stress of not being able to advance in her field continued to increase for Nelson. Eventually her mother suggested she move back home and finish school. Realizing that she might never have an opportunity like this again, she took her mother’s proposal.

She moved back to Snohomish, Wash. and attended Everett Community College. “There were definitely more non-traditional students in my community college,” Nelson says. She assumed that Western’s student demographic would be similar, but she now realizes she was wrong.

Currently, Nelson is living on campus with a roommate and two other housemates. She evaluates her situation at home as stable. The age difference, while evident, does not have significant impact in daily interactions. Nelson says she can only remember one time when she was asked for advice.

She says that traditional students are at a point in their lives where they are redefining their identity. This is a process Nelson has already gone through, she says her identity is something she is very comfortable with.
“For traditional students school is their identity,” she says. “ Non-traditional students have other more prevalent identities such as being a parent, spouse or a career person.”

While Nelson doesn’t mind the companionship of younger students, she found herself wanting to find other students who could relate more to her life and current experience. Since her post she has met several other non- traditional students and has enjoyed exchanging stories with other non-traditional students, like Dan.

Dan

Dan Frank, 41, is in his second quarter at Western. Frank has had a harder time finding his place among Western’s traditional student community than he had predicted. Coming from a full-time position at a telecommunications company, Frank spent 10 years climbing up the company’s work ladder.

“My life was full of meetings, business phone calls and e-mails,” he says. Although financially stable, Frank realized he was not happy. Once this realization took place, he decided that since he was not married and had no children, he needed to reevaluate his life. After a few months of toying with the idea of returning to school full time, he took a leap of faith and did just that.

Aside from academic learning, Frank has learned other valuable lessons and made many observations throughout his experience here at Western. A distinct difference between the social norms from his school days and todays norms that Frank has observed is the attitude towards same sex relationships. While Frank identifies as heterosexual he finds this change refreshing, because no one should be able to dictate happiness for other people. Frank enjoys being able to experience these generational differences.

Although the adjustment was a lot harder to make than he had expected, Frank is enjoying this academic journey. While academics do take up a large portion of Frank’s life, he also has been searching for a way to find a comfortable social circle. Nelson’s post on Viking Village was exactly what he was looking for.

Every story is different, Nelson says. We all have taken different paths and have found ourselves in the same place at the moment. Sharing these stories was her main goal when reaching out to other non-traditional students. Time is an interesting concept, she says. Sometimes one can find themselves right back where they should have started.

University Life

I don’t know where to begin! This first quarter at Western Washington University has been a whirlwind and it’s just about over already.

My classes started off pretty interesting. Cognition is all about how people think, and I’ve learned a lot about the specifics of the human mind. Pretty interesting stuff!

Abnormal Psychology has been a lot of repeat information since I already took Abnormal Psychology in 2009 at Las Positas Community College. I am not sure why Western would not accept it as a transfer. I am still working on that… The professor has never taught a class of this size (85 students), so the class seems incredibly disorganized. I went to speak with him and I’ve decided to take a class with him over the summer. It seems he would be a great teacher in a smaller classroom when students could participate in discussions. I am looking forward to it!

The most interesting class is my Environmental Science class. It has over 400 students!! I heard it’s the biggest class on campus. I figured it would be a typical general class, but I have learned a lot and have come to respect the Earth a lot more. I’ve learned about Climate Change, and Genetically modified food, watersheds, and human population. I feel I can have more intriguing discussions about these things. Yay! School is doing its job. hahahah

After a few weeks of getting through my classes and not meeting many people my age, I thought I would go out on a limb and post on the schools forum. I posted that I was looking for other folks who were 25 and older, and return students. It’s amazing! There were many folks who responded and I’ve meet some great people for coffee a few times and a few of us went bowling. It’s been a fun experience so far and I am so happy that there are people at this University that are in my age range. We talk about some interesting and different things that would be hard to discuss with traditional students. I am thrilled that I went against my character and looked for similar students. I think I could have gone the entire year here and not met these new friends I now have.

Another great outcome from my forum posting was being interviewed by Western Washington Universities magazine. A writer was doing a study on returning students and how times change the experiences at a University. The article ended up not being published because the University was not able to provide her with enrollment details for non-traditional students.

So far, it’s been a fun ride and I have many more quarters to go. I am looking forward to my upcoming time at Western Washington University.

Walking in the snow at Western Washington University:

Harry Potter Room in the Library at Western Washington University:

Snow on the campus of Western Washington University:

The future is waiting

I submitted my personal statement and application to both University of Washington and Western Washington University. After a few weeks of debate I realized that WWU would be the better choice for me. I knew I would fit in there better with a few thousand students versus 41,000! Psychology is at my core, yet either school would help me earn a great education. Also at the heart was that I would be able to move out and live independently with other College students, and that is looking perfect right now.

After about a week I started checking the mail every day for a letter or package. Nothing… day after day. I knew it had only been about 2 weeks since I submitted my paperwork to WWU and 1 month and 2 weeks since I submitted to UW, but I had to know. It was driving me mad! One day I received it. It was a big envelope so I knew it had to be good…or was it? YES! I got accepted to Western Washington University! I ran down the steep driveway and held out the letter in front of my mom’s face and she gave me a big hug. Yeah!!! A new path is life has been opened to me. I can’t wait to get started.

Hard work pays off!

It’s the week of finals, and some may say that it’s normally really stressful and full of ups and downs. Well it has been that plus more. It’s been a really great week and it’s only Thursday!

Tuesday was the Spanish final and, to say the least, learning a foreign language is NOT my strong suit. Let’s just leave it as me passing the class. I am happy to have done that and still be able to use it towards my degree. I often think I need to move back to Arizona in order to surround myself in the language. That would sure help.

Then the Research Psychology final on Wednesday, scared to death, I have to get an A in this class! It can’t be that bad, can it? An hour and a half of fill in the blank, describe, and try to read the teachers mind. He offered to grade our tests after completing the 6 page test so I decide to stay after, as most students do. I am the second to last one done so I decide to stay and we discuss answers and I was able to debate a few of my answers and why I thought that way. On the last part of the test after he grades it he says, you are the first one to get this one right. Awesome! Discussing the test helps and I get an 81% on the test. Eh, not a good score in my eyes, but he said I was the second highest score so far, so I am happy! Later that afternoon, he told us the average for the final was 71%. Eek! Not sure how to express my feelings on this one, but I don’t think it’s good when most students barely pass. I often think it’s a reflection of the teacher, but I learned in this class that it’s the material. It’s confusing and complex and needs further discussion in order to understand. Anyway…We also learn that the class average is 81%, so he grades on a curve and bumps our grades up and mine shoots to a 94%. Shit, I’ll take that! I’ve never worked my ass off so hard for a class and it paid off, finally. AND, I really enjoyed the material too. It’s great to finally get to upper level courses that are actually interesting versus mandatory.

Today (Thursday) rolls around and it’s the math final. A few of us decide to meet at Denny’s to work on the test together at 10am, as the test is being posted at 8am. 8am comes and goes and no final is posted. 9am nothing. After calls and emails to the professor, nothing! Start freaking out! I text a few other students, and they don’t have it either. We decide to meet at Denny’s and wait for the test. Over an hour later, and nothing, finally at around 11:30 she posts it so we all complete it and get 100%. Well this finals week is the best finals week ever and I’ve taking part of a lot of finals weeks.

I reach out to my Psych professor to thank him for allowing me to take the class without the math prerequisite, and tell him the number of credits I am taking for my self-study in the Fall quarter. He reply’s back with a few good details about the self-study and then reports that I did well this quarter, and said “Your effort and the quality of your work was exceptional-- at the top of the class.”

Now, I am NOT one to brag, I actually HATE drawing attention to myself, but I had to write about it because it made me feel accomplished. I have not felt this good since I got good feedback from my old job at DDI. It’s really good to feel intelligent when you try your hardest! Hard work does pay off! Hopefully, I can get a professor recommendation letter for my application to UW. CROSS YOUR FINGERS!

Doubt

I’ve been feeling pretty discouraged lately. I keep questioning my intentions and motivations and evaluating all my past mistakes. I know I should look towards the future and learn from my mistakes, but it just all feels hard right now. I keep wondering if it’s the weather getting to me, or the missing sun part, but it’s just been depressing up here. I wonder why I keep moving from place to place and lose friends only to gain new ones eventually. I miss all my old friends. Like Julie said one day, I have good friends, I don’t want new ones. That is how I feel, but I force myself to get out there and try to enjoy my free time, if I ever get some!

I feel completely discouraged about my path in life right now, but trying to keep telling myself it will end great! BUT, what if I don’t get into that college? What if I don’t make good friends to support my life up here? What if the sun doesn’t come back? Ha-Kidding about that last one.

My biggest fear right now is whether or not I can get into the University of Washington. Do I have the right grades, or will my lack of extracurricular activities keep me in the deny pile, will my personal letter be good enough. The best thing to come out of this is to have a father figure in my life again. He keeps remind me that my experience with life experience, happiness, sorrows and life experience that they should be begging me to attend. I don’t know if he is just trying to instill confidence in me or convince me that I am good enough. But I guess I am second guessing myself and don’t give myself enough credit. Well, that is a no brainer.

There are other personal things going on in life, but I don’t feel comfortable writing about them on my blog as they are too personal.

I just feel like I am not connected with any friends anymore and I often wonder, “If I stopped texting, or calling, would they even contact me?”

Roller coaster of a ride

I've been meaning to write a blog for a while now, but life has been so emotional with it's ups and downs lately, I didn't know what to write. It would have been: “I'm so happy! I miss my friends. I hate my family. I am depressed. I am now THRILLED! I would like to run my car into a tree. I can't wait for this and that. Now, I'm sad.” Yeah, ups and downs for sure.

It's now February and after much discussion I will most likely be applying to University of Washington to attend in Winter 2012. I am 1 math class short of being accepted so I decided to get it done along with my last language credit and then head to the University. That being said, I have time to increase my GPA even more! Maybe I should start volunteering so I can add that to my application. LOL- I must admit I have not been one to ever volunteer. I'm lazy. I just need to find one that I could really love like in an Animal Shelter.

Over the past few months I learned two of my favorite friends, Julie and Leslie are PREGNANT!! BOTH are due in May 2011 so this is really exciting. I found out that Leslie was pregnant on the weekend we were taking a trip to Stinson Beach. She walked into the kitchen where I was packing the cooler and said in a serious tone, “there is something we have to tell you, because you might wonder why I am not drinking.” I jumped up and down and was like “Your Pregnant!!!!” I was so excited! I've been secretly creating a very person gift for Julie so she HAS to keep me updated on her fun pregnancy stories and keep posting pictures. Yea! I can't wait. It only took me a few weeks to go out and buy both baby girls little outfits and cute little things that their moms will like!

I keep thinking that I was married 9 years ago and it could have been me. Not that I would have been ready to have kids by now, but I guess it's now the time! However, I do often think that if I would have stayed married I most likely would not have moved to Arizona, then I would have not followed my mom to Florida and would not have met Julie. Then I would have actually loved Florida and stayed there, but I didn't so I moved to California and met Leslie!! Now I have two wonderful friends and I am so happy to be sharing this special time with them in their lives.

My life now consists of school, homework, library, and a few days of the week I work at Kohl's. It's such brainless work that it's perfect. I can concentrate on my school work, and then go in a few hours a week and make some money. The strangest part is being able to support myself for over 10 years and then BAM, Nicole is now dependent on a parent again to be able to eat! It's pretty demotivating, but I try to keep reminding myself that this is all for the best. Sacrifices must be made for happiness down the road. “Nothing worth having in this life comes easy.”

Nicole just likes to do things backwards in her life, except for the kids part. I get married at 20, divorced by 23, move across the country not once, but twice. (One time its from the Northern most Western state to the Southern most Eastern state. How many people can say they have done that? NOW, it's time for me to meet the guy who loves me for me and wants to be in my life, because as I said during my divorce “I don't want to be in your life, if you don’t want me in yours.”

No joining dating sites, it's just time to get out there and be confident and meet that perfect guy. I will meet him when he walkes into my life.

Here is a toast to a fabulous new year!

Julie and Leslie

Master of our own happiness

Nicole has decided to be master of her own happiness ... Let go of the past, clean up the present, and embrace the future.

Do you ever wonder where you'd be if you had made ONE different choice in your life? It's amazing how every day we can drastically change the route of our lives.

Sometimes we have to make the wrong choices in order to get our lives on the right track.

If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.

Life isn't hard...it's the choices we make that can be. The wrong one can change a life completely. The right one can change a life eternally!

The choices you make create the life that you end up with. Because life is a series of choices, ultimately, you define yourself.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day...

First blog. How exciting. Hopefully there is spell check cause I type slower than I think. The words can't hit the paper fast enough.

First, I am starting a blog because I want to track some things in my life and for people to get to know the real "Nicole." It's exciting. Changes are coming. At this point in my life I am in the midst of deciding who is important in my life, who should stay and who should go. It is sometimes a difficult decision, but sometimes an easy one. Some quick and some slowly letting go. I try to be patient, which, I think, is one of my worst qualities. But at times lately I feel like I am not quick enough to decide things in my life. I pose questions and get multiple answers before moving on. Sometimes I think a clean break is needed.

A wonderful thing happened to me in the past few months and weeks. My half-sister Michelle reached out to me by e-mail and we have met for the first time in 14 years! Now it took me a few days or even possibly a few weeks to write her back. I was not sure if I should answer, how I should answer, and what in the world would I say? I think I kept it simple and we exchanged a few emails and decided that we should meet someday. Well that day has come and passed. First I was invited to an A's game because her boyfriend is a starting Pitcher for the A's and he was the pitcher that night. I was excited and nervous. Tried on dozens of outfits, made sure my hair and makeup was just right. I did all this because Michelle said that she and her sister Kimberly always looked up to me when they were 6 and 7 and remember having me in their lives. I was not shocked by this information, but it was comforting to know that they remembered me, and it was interesting to see that they looked up to ME?!?! I never thought I would be a role-model for anyone or have an impact on anyone's life. Well I did much to my dismay.

Well the first meeting went well and was mostly casual. I was not nervous once I saw her and we hugged. It was a first meeting of friends, sharing a little bit about ourselves and what life is like now. Nothing huge, and nothing mind blowing. Just simple girl-talk.

Our second meeting was to a Giants game on April 13th, 2010. Now this date I will always remember for some reason. It was more casual and I was interested in talking more and getting to know her. We caught up on some family history and what has happened for the last 14 years. Then we started talking about "our"' dad. She mentions that they have all talked together about me and the relationship they have had with me. Dad feels a little upset at how things have turned out and would love to have a relationship with his "first" daughter, me. He also feels a little hurt and confused about the past.

Well at this point, I just want to cry. I honestly never thought of my dad as a human and having feelings. I always thought of him as the "father" that was never there and who deserted me for what purpose. It is hard to put into words on paper how I felt. Some relief to know that he is in fact a human, and has feelings towards me. Again, it is hard to express on paper (or computer) my exact feelings.

So now where do we go from here? What paths lay in front of me? I belive that I can have a relationship with my "sisters" and in the future with my father. The other half that created me. What an amazing thought!

I plan on meeting my father one day in the future, whether that is weeks or months from now, but feel that I am going to get my chance to let myself out of this cage I have been locked in for 27 years. I don't know if I need to have him in my life as a father figure, but I need to work on forgiving him for what he has done and how he has affected me with every breath I take. I need to get off my chest how I feel and what I think of him, and relieve this pressure that has been drowning my heart for 27 years. I don't know if this will end up as me expressing my feelings by anger or sadness or fear. I imaging that it would be easy to yell and get it out in the open and say everything I have been wanting to say since I was a child. How much I have been hurting by his decision to leave. How much pain he has caused in my own love life and my view toward men. I would love to explain that I don't know if I can forgive him but I hope to in the future. It may take years, but it will get there some day.

We can only live one day at a time and I believe this is the start of a new life for me. I can move on with the opportunity to work personal issues that have been dragging me down for years. I have sisters that want to be involved in my life. I have a father, that wants to be involved in my life. I only see endless possibilities for my life in the future...