The Pocket Therapist

A few wonderful things I learned from an awesome little book!
The Pocket Therapist by Therese J. Borchard

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quite voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ – Mary Anne Radmacher

One definition of insanity, and I’d throw in suffering, is doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting different results. It’s so easy to see this pattern in others, but I can be so blind with my own attempts at disguising self-destructive behavior in a web of lies and rationalizations. That’s why, when I’m in enough pain, I write everything down- So I can read for myself exactly how I felt after I had coffee with the person who was more interested in my choice of coffee drink than in my health, or after a phone call with a relative who enjoys pressing my bitchy buttons. The case for breaking a certain addiction, or stopping a behavior contributing to depression, is much strong once you can read the evidence provided from the past.

Don’t take anything personally. If you can pull this off, you spare yourself a lot of suffering, not to mention free up oodles of brain capacity. So when I think that a friend is upset with me by the way she is acting-not returning my phone calls or is blowing me off,- but she hasn’t said anything to me, I don’t need to worry about it. Not until she spills her can of whoop-ass all over me do I have to worry my neurotic little head about what’s going on in her limbic system. And guess what? Even then, I still don’t’ have to claim it. That’s entirely up to me! “Even when a situation seems so personal, even if other insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements in their own minds.”

Befriend yourself. Have you ever wondered how long one of your friends would stick with you if you talked to her the way you shout at yourself? My therapist calls me on this dichotomy practically every session. “What would you say to a friend in your shoes?” She’ll ask me. “I’d tell her to be gentle with herself, to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and spend three hours watching Oprah if it made her feel better.” Of course I need not go that far. Most of the time, all I have to do is put away the whip and make myself a friendship bracelet instead.

Bawl your eyes out. Tears remove toxins from our body. Emotional tears contain more toxic byproducts that tears of irritation, like when you peel an onion, indicating that weeping is surely nature’s way of cleansing the heart and mind. Second, tears elevate mood. It lowers a person’s manganese level which can cause anxiety, nervousness, irritability, fatigue, and aggression. Finally, crying is cathartic. It’s as if your boyd has been accumulating hurts and resentments and fears, until your limbic system runs out of room and then, like a volcano, the toxic gunk spews forth everywhere… That’s good, because the cardiovascular and nervous systems run more smoothly after some emotional perspiration.