Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Non-traditional Students at Western Washington University

This article below was written about my experiences at Western Washington University, and was almost published in the school's magazine, the Klipsun. The editors wanted Ariana to include some statistics about non-traditional students at Western, from the Admissions department, but they could not provide much. Therefore, the article was not published.

Note* Some of the facts are not correct.

I hope you enjoy.


Editors Note about the issue: Klipsun Magazine


NON TRADITIONAL STUDENTS
ARIANA LOPEZ


Nicole Nelson and her parents pulled the heavily packed vehicle into the Birnam Wood Apartments. She gazed at the dark brown building that she would be calling home for the rest of the school year. Excitement was tingling throughout her body as she made her way to her apartment door, her parents following close behind her. She remembers the mixed emotion of that day. Once she was settled in, she walked her parents to their car. The goodbyes were bittersweet, however, she could see the pride in her parents eyes. She felt a sense of pride as well. After all, being here was what she had been working so hard to accomplish for the last 10 years.

Attending college is a new experience with many life-altering decisions to be made. For some students this experience did not come right after high school but much later in life. After a decade of living in the “real world” Nelson has made her way back to college. She searched for more individuals like her to share her experiences with. From this search she found other students that like her have just returned to school after experiencing the working world.
Six weeks into her first quarter at Western, Nelson, 29, finds herself juggling school, work and the usual task of finding one’s place in a new community.

Nelson is a self-proclaimed non-traditional student. Time is what makes non-traditional students stand out from the rest, she says. Older student may be another more literal, but not necessarily accurate, way to refer to such students. It is not about the age, she says. It’s about the experiences that took place during that time outside of school.

Finding others with that shared time line is what drove Nelson to create a post on Viking Village. This post has received over 20 responses that have resulted in a group bowling night and several coffee get together. From bowling nights to coffee get-togethers, these non-traditional students find support in each other to help them adjust to their new school and community.
Briana Kinash, 25, is one of the youngest respondents to Nelson’s post. She is also a great example of the difference between an older student and a non-traditional student. Not much older than her peers, it’s not age the sets her experience at Western apart. After high school she took a year of community college and then decided to attend art school.

Eventually, she decided to go back to traditional school and relocated from Seabeck, Wash. to Bellingham and is now working on her neuroscience degree. She is looking forward to graduating in a year or so and being able to move back home with her boyfriend.

Every story is different, Nelson says. We all have taken different paths and have found ourselves in the same place at the moment.

Nicole

Nelson describes herself a very shy person. She smiles, but her expression of sincerity does not change. She admits her friends think she is outgoing because she always seems to find herself socially involved with something.
“What they don’t realize is how hard it is for me to get involved,” Nelson says. “ I just love doing new things, so I force myself to be more involved.”

When Nelson graduated from high school in 2001, she had plans to continue her education. At that time, Nelson had been in a relationship for some time. Once she graduated, he proposed. She was married at the age of 20. He was in the military and he didn’t think it was important for her to go back to school, she says.

They relocated to Alaska, where three and a half years later they divorced. She then relocated to California where she worked for the same company for a little over a decade. Nelson would attend school sporadically through out this time, but she always knew she wanted to go back full-time.

Even though Nelson enjoyed her job, after some time she became frustrated with her inability to move up the company ladder. “I needed to go back and get my BA,” she says. The stress of not being able to advance in her field continued to increase for Nelson. Eventually her mother suggested she move back home and finish school. Realizing that she might never have an opportunity like this again, she took her mother’s proposal.

She moved back to Snohomish, Wash. and attended Everett Community College. “There were definitely more non-traditional students in my community college,” Nelson says. She assumed that Western’s student demographic would be similar, but she now realizes she was wrong.

Currently, Nelson is living on campus with a roommate and two other housemates. She evaluates her situation at home as stable. The age difference, while evident, does not have significant impact in daily interactions. Nelson says she can only remember one time when she was asked for advice.

She says that traditional students are at a point in their lives where they are redefining their identity. This is a process Nelson has already gone through, she says her identity is something she is very comfortable with.
“For traditional students school is their identity,” she says. “ Non-traditional students have other more prevalent identities such as being a parent, spouse or a career person.”

While Nelson doesn’t mind the companionship of younger students, she found herself wanting to find other students who could relate more to her life and current experience. Since her post she has met several other non- traditional students and has enjoyed exchanging stories with other non-traditional students, like Dan.

Dan

Dan Frank, 41, is in his second quarter at Western. Frank has had a harder time finding his place among Western’s traditional student community than he had predicted. Coming from a full-time position at a telecommunications company, Frank spent 10 years climbing up the company’s work ladder.

“My life was full of meetings, business phone calls and e-mails,” he says. Although financially stable, Frank realized he was not happy. Once this realization took place, he decided that since he was not married and had no children, he needed to reevaluate his life. After a few months of toying with the idea of returning to school full time, he took a leap of faith and did just that.

Aside from academic learning, Frank has learned other valuable lessons and made many observations throughout his experience here at Western. A distinct difference between the social norms from his school days and todays norms that Frank has observed is the attitude towards same sex relationships. While Frank identifies as heterosexual he finds this change refreshing, because no one should be able to dictate happiness for other people. Frank enjoys being able to experience these generational differences.

Although the adjustment was a lot harder to make than he had expected, Frank is enjoying this academic journey. While academics do take up a large portion of Frank’s life, he also has been searching for a way to find a comfortable social circle. Nelson’s post on Viking Village was exactly what he was looking for.

Every story is different, Nelson says. We all have taken different paths and have found ourselves in the same place at the moment. Sharing these stories was her main goal when reaching out to other non-traditional students. Time is an interesting concept, she says. Sometimes one can find themselves right back where they should have started.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Pocket Therapist

A few wonderful things I learned from an awesome little book!
The Pocket Therapist by Therese J. Borchard

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quite voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ – Mary Anne Radmacher

One definition of insanity, and I’d throw in suffering, is doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting different results. It’s so easy to see this pattern in others, but I can be so blind with my own attempts at disguising self-destructive behavior in a web of lies and rationalizations. That’s why, when I’m in enough pain, I write everything down- So I can read for myself exactly how I felt after I had coffee with the person who was more interested in my choice of coffee drink than in my health, or after a phone call with a relative who enjoys pressing my bitchy buttons. The case for breaking a certain addiction, or stopping a behavior contributing to depression, is much strong once you can read the evidence provided from the past.

Don’t take anything personally. If you can pull this off, you spare yourself a lot of suffering, not to mention free up oodles of brain capacity. So when I think that a friend is upset with me by the way she is acting-not returning my phone calls or is blowing me off,- but she hasn’t said anything to me, I don’t need to worry about it. Not until she spills her can of whoop-ass all over me do I have to worry my neurotic little head about what’s going on in her limbic system. And guess what? Even then, I still don’t’ have to claim it. That’s entirely up to me! “Even when a situation seems so personal, even if other insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements in their own minds.”

Befriend yourself. Have you ever wondered how long one of your friends would stick with you if you talked to her the way you shout at yourself? My therapist calls me on this dichotomy practically every session. “What would you say to a friend in your shoes?” She’ll ask me. “I’d tell her to be gentle with herself, to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and spend three hours watching Oprah if it made her feel better.” Of course I need not go that far. Most of the time, all I have to do is put away the whip and make myself a friendship bracelet instead.

Bawl your eyes out. Tears remove toxins from our body. Emotional tears contain more toxic byproducts that tears of irritation, like when you peel an onion, indicating that weeping is surely nature’s way of cleansing the heart and mind. Second, tears elevate mood. It lowers a person’s manganese level which can cause anxiety, nervousness, irritability, fatigue, and aggression. Finally, crying is cathartic. It’s as if your boyd has been accumulating hurts and resentments and fears, until your limbic system runs out of room and then, like a volcano, the toxic gunk spews forth everywhere… That’s good, because the cardiovascular and nervous systems run more smoothly after some emotional perspiration.

Monday, February 14, 2011

To my ex husband on Valentines Day

I was searching for a cute Facebook Status for today since it's Valentines Day, but I only found amazingly positive posts or horrific negative posts. I guess I am not feeling too creative today that I could come up with my own post. So I was scanning and scanning and came across this post and I could NOT help but posting because I laughed my ass off!

To my ex husband on Valentines Day;
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Thank God I'm no longer married to you.

And although I am not negative about Valentines Day or entirely happy as a bee about the day either, I just thought it was pretty funny!

Today I briefly thought about my past and when I was in a long relationship it wasn't as happy as I always thought it would be! There were a FEW good times in my marriage, but overall things were really dissapointing. The one Valentines Day that I remember was the year where I never said I didn't want a gift. He knew I loved flowers! They are one of my favorite things in the world. They are so beautiful, and smell amazing and I just love all the colors and different kinds. Well, I get home after he does and there were no flowers, no card, no big hug. Keep in mind, this was our first or second valentines day as a married couple, and if you know me at all, I am a hopeless romantic. I was extreamly dissapointed by the lack of everything that I went to bed early, by myself. The next morning I woke up to a dozen gas-station roses and a card. It was one of those cards that was apologetic but professed his love for me. It was a sweet card, but the entire marriage was something always stated after the fact and a little too late... "Oh I should go to marriage counseling too? You've been going for a year, but I can start going now."

Okay, well not that I wanted to ramble about the negative times in my marriage, but I guess I did. Overall there were some good times and bad, and well as you can see I am now divorced, the negatives far outweighed any of the positives!

I've dated some great and not so great men since 2003 and am so happy I've had all of them in my life! They all brought something special to my life and I always say that each person in your life is there for a reason. I've found that my ex husband brought to me, ease of mind when dealing with cars. He taught me about cars and how I can fix them myself. Not that I want to change a tire by myself, but I can probably do that without much help and it's all thanks to him.

I am sure there will be someone in my future that will fufill my hopes and dreams!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Looking towards the future

As I start off another post this week to my blog I decide I need a lesson in Blog/Post naming. It was going to be “The Future” but come on, no A for originality here.

Anyway, today was a good day. I got off school at 11am and drove across town to the University of Washington in Seattle. I got there around 11:30 and decided to get a bite to eat at a local place. So naturally, I pick Jimmy John's subs, but only since it's familiar restaurant in this strange place. I picked a great seat next to the window and for the next 45 minutes, while nibbling on my sandwich, people watched. Everyone seemed more serious here. Not a bunch of smiles and chatter as that of any of the 4 4 community colleges I have gone to. People look serious here, like there are actually here for an education. BINGO! I found a real school environment! I fount it!

I walk around campus for a while and get lost and have to look at the map. Good thing I had a big bag so I could pretend I was looking in my bag. Yes, I care what people think, and don't want them to know I am not part of their group! But I hope to be by the end of the year. I finally find the right classroom and sit around for 30 minutes waiting for “Transfer Thursdays” to begin. They go over the normal transfer information I have read about, however it seemed like everyone in the class had not. Out of the 20 questions they asked the admissions advisor, I could have answered 15 of them. Oh well, shows I research before I attend a important even. I know it!

I now have an hour to kill before my Psychology drop-in advising, so I go to the Library. More specifically the Suzzallo Library. It's been there since 1926. There is a Reading room in this building that houses the most room I've ever seen. I would say it might be a good place to study, however I think I would stare at the windows and ceiling all day... I would say it's reminiscent of Great Hall from Harry Potter. I fill out my Psychology Transfer form to count all my credits. As I fill it out, it makes me feel like I have a relative small amount of accomplishment under my belt with all these classes. I have done it!

During the awesome advising session I learn everything I need to know about getting into the Psychology Major. The senior advisor seemed like the most knowledgeable college advisor I have EVER been to, and that is saying a lot since I have been to 4 community colleges and 1 university! However, after our discussion, it was confirmed that I need a minimum of 2 math classes before getting into UW. Plus 1 if I wanted to be prepared for the Psych major. So, we now have 3 maths, anthropology, philosophy, writing course, foreign language, a diversity course, and 1 credit of English. (1 class is usually 5 credits). I can do it!

Overall I felt very accomplished today and really look forward to my future education! I am so excited!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Master of our own happiness

Nicole has decided to be master of her own happiness ... Let go of the past, clean up the present, and embrace the future.

Do you ever wonder where you'd be if you had made ONE different choice in your life? It's amazing how every day we can drastically change the route of our lives.

Sometimes we have to make the wrong choices in order to get our lives on the right track.

If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.

Life isn't hard...it's the choices we make that can be. The wrong one can change a life completely. The right one can change a life eternally!

The choices you make create the life that you end up with. Because life is a series of choices, ultimately, you define yourself.