Roller coaster of a ride

I've been meaning to write a blog for a while now, but life has been so emotional with it's ups and downs lately, I didn't know what to write. It would have been: “I'm so happy! I miss my friends. I hate my family. I am depressed. I am now THRILLED! I would like to run my car into a tree. I can't wait for this and that. Now, I'm sad.” Yeah, ups and downs for sure.

It's now February and after much discussion I will most likely be applying to University of Washington to attend in Winter 2012. I am 1 math class short of being accepted so I decided to get it done along with my last language credit and then head to the University. That being said, I have time to increase my GPA even more! Maybe I should start volunteering so I can add that to my application. LOL- I must admit I have not been one to ever volunteer. I'm lazy. I just need to find one that I could really love like in an Animal Shelter.

Over the past few months I learned two of my favorite friends, Julie and Leslie are PREGNANT!! BOTH are due in May 2011 so this is really exciting. I found out that Leslie was pregnant on the weekend we were taking a trip to Stinson Beach. She walked into the kitchen where I was packing the cooler and said in a serious tone, “there is something we have to tell you, because you might wonder why I am not drinking.” I jumped up and down and was like “Your Pregnant!!!!” I was so excited! I've been secretly creating a very person gift for Julie so she HAS to keep me updated on her fun pregnancy stories and keep posting pictures. Yea! I can't wait. It only took me a few weeks to go out and buy both baby girls little outfits and cute little things that their moms will like!

I keep thinking that I was married 9 years ago and it could have been me. Not that I would have been ready to have kids by now, but I guess it's now the time! However, I do often think that if I would have stayed married I most likely would not have moved to Arizona, then I would have not followed my mom to Florida and would not have met Julie. Then I would have actually loved Florida and stayed there, but I didn't so I moved to California and met Leslie!! Now I have two wonderful friends and I am so happy to be sharing this special time with them in their lives.

My life now consists of school, homework, library, and a few days of the week I work at Kohl's. It's such brainless work that it's perfect. I can concentrate on my school work, and then go in a few hours a week and make some money. The strangest part is being able to support myself for over 10 years and then BAM, Nicole is now dependent on a parent again to be able to eat! It's pretty demotivating, but I try to keep reminding myself that this is all for the best. Sacrifices must be made for happiness down the road. “Nothing worth having in this life comes easy.”

Nicole just likes to do things backwards in her life, except for the kids part. I get married at 20, divorced by 23, move across the country not once, but twice. (One time its from the Northern most Western state to the Southern most Eastern state. How many people can say they have done that? NOW, it's time for me to meet the guy who loves me for me and wants to be in my life, because as I said during my divorce “I don't want to be in your life, if you don’t want me in yours.”

No joining dating sites, it's just time to get out there and be confident and meet that perfect guy. I will meet him when he walkes into my life.

Here is a toast to a fabulous new year!

Julie and Leslie